Signs of resistance and tension in groups and teams often go unnoticed at first.

The sooner you notice theses signs bubbling away, the easier it is to deal with.

The longer resistance and tension are avoided, it harder it gets to deal with. The trouble continues to go up and productivity and impact go down.

I’m Francesca, a group facilitator, conflict transformation practitioner, and trainer.

I help people lean into the inevitable tension that emerges when dealing with differences, and build healthy, highly impactful group cultures in the process.

Read on to discover ways of noticing resistance behaviour at work, and a few ideas of how to navigate tension and have the impact and experience at work that you want.

#1 Sarcastic jokes

These are jokes with an edge that seem to be sending a subtle, passive message.

#2 Repeated Excuses

Excuses that happen three or more times, that undermine decisions or collaborative activity.

#3 Gossip

Communication that happens in cliques, side Teams chats, or in general outside of open conversations all are privy to.

#4 Communication Breakdown

People are not really talking to another. Intermediaries might be sending messages between functions as people avoid one another. Toxic generalisations about whole teams/groups or “us vs. them” dynamics may be present.

#5 Going slow

Behaviour such as postponement or going slow (when people eventually do what they say or are asked, but it’s at a snails pace e.g. taking weeks to reply or confirming attendance) is a common roadblock.

#6 Strike

Either people outrightly refuse to do certain tasks, fulfil certain roles or attend certain functions, or take part in union strikes or public protests.

#7 Quitting/Withdrawing

High turnover rate or regular threats of quitting are common. People may quietly quit, simply withdrawing their energy.

#8 Cycling Conversations

The same conversations or challenging behaviours happen over and over, sometimes for years. They simply continue to continue and there is an increasingly uncomfortable sense of elephants being in the room.

#9 Edge Behaviours  

For example, you notice lots of staring and silence in meetings, especially when decisions are being made or participation is requested, and not much dialogue. You may also notice repeated physical symptoms such as headaches, or emotions such as frustration and irritability in meetings. These are signs of “edge” behaviours – protecting the group from voicing something uncomfortable. This is a sign there are things that are not being said, and they are impacting the group’s collaboration.

#10 Loss of Content

For example, no one remembers what the original issue was really about but the people involved know that they just don’t talk to one another and don’t like one another. New joiners may enter the system and notice this behaviour and take part by not speaking to the other group, without ever fully knowing the reasons why. It just “is what it is”.

While challenging, resistance behaviour is not negative. These are normal human behaviours that occur when we do not feel able to say the thing that we need to say.

It is powerful data to recognise and be aware of, so we can navigate it effectively rather than hope it will go away on it’s own (spoiler: that doesn’t tend to happen).

So, what to do about it?

Create safety to say what needs to be said. The more people feel able to risk saying their view, the less resistance or tension builds up.

Here are five ideas for how to do that:

#1 Lead by example.

Express your own views as honestly, openly and often as you can. Find ways of sharing your views that others can hear.

#2 Express views where safety exists

If you don’t feel you can share your views openly, find people with whom you can, and support each other to lead change in way that is appropriate for and sensitive to your context and does not centre on gossiping.

#3 Build awareness of resistance

Name the resistance behaviour you are noticing with compassion and objectivity in yourself or in your group. E.g. “I notice I am starting to feel frustrated – does anyone feel a little like me?” or “I notice we keeping having this same conversation over and over – does anyone else recognise this?” Sometimes drawing neutral awareness to a behaviour can help groups face and change it.

#4 Create a climate of difference

Encourage others to share their own views – especially if they are different than the majority, or your own. This is particularly important if you hold a position of power in your context. Do not ignore or scapegoat differences. The person with a different view may have valuable insight to offer – be curious about what this is. This doesn’t mean handing over your authority – you can listen to other views while retaining a right to disagree.

#5 Make participative decisions

When a majority decision is made, ask people who may have opposed it (subtly or overtly) what they need to come along with the decision. Weave in their insight into how you move forward. This will reduce tension and resistance in your implementation and build more participative cultures with less resistance going forward.

Want more insight or support building these skills?

• Join an upcoming FREE introduction workshop: link to register.

• Book a free exploratory call to assess if I’m the right fit for your organisational needs.

• Or, sign up for a training with me.